mother's day

being a mom is just the toughest job, isn't it? when we were down in california for beckett's birthday, my oma asked me if beckett would be okay to run an errand with my uncle or if he would feel uncomfortable being away from me. i thought that beckett would be fine (especially since the errand was going to a bakery) and he was, but the idea of it got me thinking. i can remember being very young and having babysitters or being over at somebody's house for a play date and missing my mom. wishing that she was there. knowing i would always feel most at ease, most content at home with my mom. i look at beckett and heath and i can NOT wrap my mind around the fact that i am that person to them. for them i am home. i am comfort. the feeling of that is exhilarating and terrifying. it's just such a huge thing to mean so much to another person. and i don't want to mess that up. i want to do a great job, especially since i picked to have them, but they didn't get to choose me. anyways, that's my super deep mother-type thought for the day. ha! i am so grateful for my boys and what a perfect fit we are for each other; and that my job isn't nearly as hard as it could be, since i have a super active and involved person to team up with. i don't know how single moms do it. truly. i do know that i love my guys and as jen hatmaker would say, they make me feel all the feelings. happy mother's day, moms!

mother's day party

i got to go to the mother's day party at beckett's preschool again this year. last year, i had a newborn sitting with matt in the parking lot and this year i had a one year old at home and that was much nicer. of course, margaret had a newborn sitting in the parking lot with pat and i will just say... i did not envy her. ha. learning the balance of a two kid life is tricky business. beckett and i decorated a heart pin for me, we ate super sugar overload cookies, and the kids sang some songs and it was cute. sometimes it still feels weird to me that i'm a mother... that i go to mother's day events with MY child... that i'm totally in charge of. i think i would just be totally overwhelmed at the magnitude of this reality if i thought about it too much. i do love my sweet boys a ridiculous amount and beckett and i did have some trouble decorating my pin because he insisted we hold hands the entire time. and it did melt my heart... so i'm pretty happy he is mine. 

mother's day

this mother's day was a little cray cray because i had a six day old... who really wanted to celebrate me! it did make mother's day feel extra mother-ie this year... having it so very close to an actual baby delivery and becoming a mother, again! i love it. how lucky am i that beckett and heath are mine? the luckiest. really, truly. 

beckett had a mother's day event on the 8th at preschool and i really thought i wasn't going to make it and i was having major anxiety about it because i just imagined all the other mothers being there and beckett not having his mom because she was off being a mom to someone else and my crazy, hormonal self was really distraught over it. so i went. and matt and yiayia had to sit in the parking lot with heath because you just can not expose a 3 day old to a bunch of preschoolers! and let me tell you... thank god i was there! i'm lying. beckett hardly knew what was going on and really only cared about the sugar cookies he had decorated and would have been completely fine if somebody else had gone in my place. oh well. in my heart of hearts, i'm still glad i was there. even though all the other moms thought i was a full on lunatic for coming.

on actual mother's day we just relaxed and matt made me (and his mom!) a delicious breakfast of all my favorite things and it was a nice day. only a tiny bit of sadness happened because yiayia left and we knew we would miss her the most. 

mother's day

"mothers are all slightly insane" jd salinger

(true that jd...)

for mother's day matt planned a lovely brunch at the kreitlow's house. we had crepes and other good things, but mostly i only care about the crepes. with whipped cream and strawberries. yum. the kids crafted and we ate and hung out and took some mom pictures and it was relaxed and nice. 

i hope all the moms i know had a great day and felt loved and appreciated... because our job is hard. the hardest. and also the best. sometimes the worst. mostly fun. except when it isn't. no wonder it makes us cuckoo bananas.