happy all hallows eve!

well, try not to die of shock, but i took pictures of the boys in halloween jammies on all hallows eve. you know, like every other october 30th since the beginning of beckett's existence. halloween is just really the best time of all the times. it's too good. 

flashback!

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015

'merica!

the 4th of july is weirdly one of my favorite holidays. i say weirdly because in general i'm not much of a summer fan, but i make an exception for this day. i love how laid back it is, no pressure to buy gifts or make fancy food or dress up. and it's still so fun... with parades, s'mores, patriotic clothes, lovin' on our country, fireworks! so, now you can feel extra bad for me when you hear that i got sick in the middle of the night and was in bed the entire day of the 4th. i missed all the things. i could even cruelly hear fireworks out my window, but not see them. we had big plans to go to the bothell parade, bbq at the kreitlows, and see fireworks at maltby church. matt bravely took the boys to everything without me. so here are the pictures... without my face, and not just because i was taking them all like usual. maybe in 50 years i won't remember that i wasn't there, but it's unlikely. i'll probably still be bitter. boooo! we love america though! we really do! 

father's day

we celebrated father's day this year with a day of sandwiches and an afternoon hike and picnic. although i am very much the planner and coordinator of our family, i am very much not the chef and father's day (and matt's birthday) make me a tad anxious because that's the only holiday where i am exclusively in charge of cooking. i think everything turned out pretty good though and i didn't poison anybody with under cooked meat or anything. and matt was happy because he got to pick out a new knife as his father's day gift and he's a creeper who is into knives.

matt is such a good dad to our boys. and it's just dumb how much more it makes me love matt, when i watch him love on our babies. and he really loves them a lot. and the boys love him so dang much back. they just light up when they hear his car pull up in the evening after work. and we all pretty much just live for the weekends and getting two full days of dad time. we're fortunate and grateful to call this guy ours and anybody who has spent anytime with us at all already knows it. 

happy father's day, matt! you are the best of the best. really, truly. 

mother's day

being a mom is just the toughest job, isn't it? when we were down in california for beckett's birthday, my oma asked me if beckett would be okay to run an errand with my uncle or if he would feel uncomfortable being away from me. i thought that beckett would be fine (especially since the errand was going to a bakery) and he was, but the idea of it got me thinking. i can remember being very young and having babysitters or being over at somebody's house for a play date and missing my mom. wishing that she was there. knowing i would always feel most at ease, most content at home with my mom. i look at beckett and heath and i can NOT wrap my mind around the fact that i am that person to them. for them i am home. i am comfort. the feeling of that is exhilarating and terrifying. it's just such a huge thing to mean so much to another person. and i don't want to mess that up. i want to do a great job, especially since i picked to have them, but they didn't get to choose me. anyways, that's my super deep mother-type thought for the day. ha! i am so grateful for my boys and what a perfect fit we are for each other; and that my job isn't nearly as hard as it could be, since i have a super active and involved person to team up with. i don't know how single moms do it. truly. i do know that i love my guys and as jen hatmaker would say, they make me feel all the feelings. happy mother's day, moms!

mother's day party

i got to go to the mother's day party at beckett's preschool again this year. last year, i had a newborn sitting with matt in the parking lot and this year i had a one year old at home and that was much nicer. of course, margaret had a newborn sitting in the parking lot with pat and i will just say... i did not envy her. ha. learning the balance of a two kid life is tricky business. beckett and i decorated a heart pin for me, we ate super sugar overload cookies, and the kids sang some songs and it was cute. sometimes it still feels weird to me that i'm a mother... that i go to mother's day events with MY child... that i'm totally in charge of. i think i would just be totally overwhelmed at the magnitude of this reality if i thought about it too much. i do love my sweet boys a ridiculous amount and beckett and i did have some trouble decorating my pin because he insisted we hold hands the entire time. and it did melt my heart... so i'm pretty happy he is mine.